Feelings.

I use blogging as a way to vent and get out all those unfinished words so I don't later end up saying something I will regret. Todays blog is going to be about my everyday heartache and stuff I am just tired of hearing about and tired of dealing with. I have dealt with some pretty shaddy people in my life some of those people I once considered my best friends and it sucks because if I knew what I know now I would have never been friends with them. I have made bad decisions in the past about picking friends and it honestly has caused me a lot of heartache. I've constantly been let down by many close people in my life and I am over it when you are in the process of growing up thats just a part of life you see who your true friends are and aren't and most of those people you lose contact with anyways after highschool. It just sucks right now because they really truly were people I trusted and cared deeply for and they let me down this whole time. For the past 4 years that I have known them they were going behind my back and making up nasty rumors about me and they made me look stupid and what hurts the most is that I did anything for them at the drop of a pin I always would be there for them when they were going through tough times I always listened to what they had to say I would give out the best advice I could and right now it hurts and sucks really bad but the more you push me down the more I get right back up and I am ten times more stronger because of you. Even though you guys really truly hurt me and think you guys are totally innocent I still wish you guys the best of luck in everything you do going forward in your life and I hope you guys go on to do great things in your life but just know how you treat people effects them and you guys really did hurt me especially after everything I have done for you. So, I'm leaving this one at peace and moving forward on better foot because I am better then that and I know not to stoop to your level and be the better person because life goes on and in the real world nobody puts up with drama they don't care the stuff you guys do or say in highschool won't even matter next year or even in the next 10 years so I just want to thank you for everything you have taught me and I really do hope everything turns out good for you guys.


The second thing I would like to vent about and yes their is a second thing is how I get treated at home I always feel like the ugly duckling in the family always getting picked on and yelled out I feel like my family talks down to me and they don't ever really understand me or even care to. I always try to be close with them and at times I am but it seems like everything I do for them they view me as a mess up in their lives like were did I go wrong sorta thing. Don't get me wrong I love my family to death but at this stage in my life how they treat me just seems to be getting worse maybe thats just what I think or maybe I'm just viewing it that way because of other things that are going on in my life right now I am not really sure but their isn't one day that goes by that I don't get yelled out for something. I just want my parents to listen to how I feel for once and trust me that I actually am a good child and I can do things right. I want them to stop listen and take in what I have to say because I am a woman and their are things I am going through right now and I could actually use their advice but it gets hard to talk to someone when all they do is yell it gets old and annoying real fast I just want to be given the chance to show you I can be the mature adult thats all I want I love you guys to death and that will never change. I just want to be closer then we are now I want to be able to come talk to you and tell you things when I need good advice but when you feel like your going to get asked 5 million questions or get yelled out it gets hard to do that if you guys read this I dont want you to get the wrong impression I just want youg guys to listen to things I have to say and take things into consideration love you guys always and forever.

It feels so much better to get out those feelings & now I feel like I can start making changes and not have that fear anymore. My family is the only people that have and always will be there no matter how badly I mess up and they are not afraid to tell me the truth and I absolutly love that even though it annoys me and as for friends I have the people I need and want right now true ones who I know for fact will not screw me over and I can not wait to go to college and build more good friendships and meet the people I know will be my friends for life.

Love You All Many Blessings And Good Health!